Jump to content
Gorby

Jehlik's Armoured Vehicle, 1916 – Scratching Jehlik's Ridiculous Roller. - COMPLETE!!

Recommended Posts

5 hours ago, Gorby said:

I might pick some up for my other PVC gear though. :blushing:

Oooh errr missus!

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

When Europeans think about military vehicles around 1916 we automatically think it must be WWI, but America didn't show up to that party until the following year. At the time they were having a tiny bit of an issue with Mexico (come on guys, isn't it time to let bygones be bygones (what the hell is a bygone? And why aren't we letting them do whatever they want to do?)), so did Jehlik intend his monster to be used in that campaign? Maybe not as the patent states '… the rotatable, driven cylinder is sufficiently large, strong and heavy to crush or destroy ordinary impediments in its path, such as barbed wire entanglements, and the like, and sufficiently long to bridge an ordinary trench…' . I don't know about you, but that screams 'WWI Western front' to me, plus I should imagine that digging trenches in desert is a tad frustrating.

Let's have a look at the suitability of using a vast roller with mud and trenches…

What on Earth Was Jehlik Thinking?' Corner (part 1).

Going by the usually size of WWI German trenches, the roller beast would have had no problem at all… that's assuming that the Germans constructed their trenches with thick, reinforced concrete sides:

Roller+trench+1.png

But they didn't.

It they were made form nature stuff – earth and planks as they usually were, roller beast would have been screwed:

Roller+trench+2.png

As you can see from the red arrow, the bodywork digs into the ground. That's why I've raised this bit on my model to give it a better ground clearance.

The best way I believe the creature could deal with trenches, would be to steer well clear of them cross them at a 45 degree angle, although, who knows how the trench system would have coped with something weighing about 250+ tons approaching it.

What on Earth Was Jehlik Thinking?' Corner (part 2).

Wheels and tracks accumulate mud – can you imagine how a giant rolling-pin would perform?

The roller would probably have been an exceptionally efficient mud collector – collecting tons of the stuff with every rotation. On his designs, he didn't show any tread on either the roller or the silly little castors at the back. Surely it would need some sort of tread to get some sort of traction, although adding treads would have made it even more efficient at picking up mud.

The side cutaway view shows a tiny gap between the back of the roller and the body. The patent pictures aren't clear enough to measure accurately, from what I can see the gap would have been too small to be able to put your fingers into – around about 6mm. In the view below the brownish bit is the ever diminishing area the mud is being crammed into.

Roller+Mud.png

Eventually it's just going to gunk-up jamming the roller solid. Although not part of Jehlik's design, on the Mk.II I've added a mud-scrapper which you'll see later.

Back to the build........

I needed to make a simple roller… or so I thought. It turned out to be a lot more involved than I suspected, which is why there are quite a lot of photos in this episode. I keep hoping to find an easy way of making circles as I end up making loads of the buggers. Circles in 0.25mm and at a push 0.5mm plastic I can do with my circle cutter. Anything fatter is a pain in the rear end. This is my method. Mark circle; cut away bigger non circle bits; trim closer to the line and file off the blatantly horrendous bits…

Roller+1.JPG

… load onto my Dremel and sand/file the edge smoother.

Roller+2.JPG

 

The end discs – the fence thing is for the outer layer of the roller to have a bigger area to glue onto.

Roller+4.JPG

 

The outer layer of the roller took most of an A4 0.5mm sheet. It's been pre-marked for the tread pattern. Easier to do it now than later.

Roller+5.JPG

The main parts of the roller: Two end bits, the centre disc, the axle (also from some old plumbing job); all sitting on the inside of the outer layer of the roller – with a guide down the middle for the centre disc.

Roller+6.JPG

 

Who lives in a house like this? To get all the bits glued onto the axle in exactly the correct place and perfectly square, I needed help (I've often been told I need help). Time for an overly complicated jig.

Roller+7.JPG

Roller+8.JPG

 

Lets get rolling.

Roller+9.JPG

 

In order to stop a double bulge (admit it, we've all got at least a couple after lockdown) it required support.

Roller+11.JPG

 

It did occur to me that I could corner the market in fake bog-roll. The minor downside would be that it would be ten times the cost of a real one. I never claimed to be clever.

Roller+12.JPG

 

Ta DAAAAA! Perfect. (Incidentally, the tank is in the same scale.)

Roller+13.JPG

 

Errrm, sort of perfect. Half of the surface of the roller will be completely hidden, so guess where this bit will be?

Roller+14.JPG

 

Into every build, a little a lot of tedium must fall. But treads are easier than tracks. Notice my lovingly crafted specialist cutting tool. Okay, there was a tiny mishap, then I found the resulting wreckage was better at doing the job.

Roller+15.JPG

The treads shown in this pic turned out to be only about a third of what I ended up using.

And so it begins…

Roller+16.JPG

… and ends – not that much longer after it began to be honest. I know half of it will be hidden… so why did I tread it all the way around?

Roller+17.JPG

As Jehlik didn't show any tread at all, I've just done something that's feasible, but not stupidly complicated, so this is the computer designed* all weather roller for controlled handling on fast corners on battlefields whatever the conditions.

* a sort of ancient, obsolete, squishy organic computer I keep between my ears.

 

At about this point in the build, I put all the bits I'd made so far in a box and put it away. All I could see was endless problems looming ahead of me. It was just too daunting a prospect to continue.

Next up – will there be any 'Next up'? :shock:

(I'm not very good at cliffhanging, nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat tension, so that will have to do you).

 

Edited by Gorby
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That really is excellent... please don't stop, what else am I going to do for entertainment? :( 

Edit...

I do have a question though.... 

Yes,there's a giant road roller thingie that can span german trenches in a single roll... but what about the naff little wheel at the back, first trench it comes too, it plops into the trench and that's it, a ginormous metal thing stuck in the mud.... :) 

 

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here come old flat top
He come groovin' up slowly
He got ju-ju eyeball
He one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee

Got to be a Gorby
He just make what he please

  • Haha 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Mad Steve said:

what about the naff little wheel at the back, first trench it comes too, it plops into the trench and that's it, a ginormous metal thing stuck in the mud...

Got to the head of the class that man! You're certainly cleverer than Jehlik.

I'm going to cover that tiny, tiny issue in the next episode (damnit, it was supposed to be nail-biting suspense :wallbash:).

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
52 minutes ago, Gorby said:

Next up – will there be any 'Next up'? :shock:

You're back to being a tease again.   What have I told you about that? Bad enough you fess up about the PVC.

 

The thing I like about your builds in this field is that the story is so plausible.

Mind you you could have saved yourself some stress if you'd done a Stirling first 😄

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seeing this ginormous roller makes me wonder how he expected it to be able to turn? Wouldn't it have been easier (she asks, after the fact) to have two independently powered rollers? Is it possible to saw your creation in half?

Also, late thought, how did he expect the power to get to the roller?

Edited by Jessie_C
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Jessie_C said:

Seeing this ginormous roller makes me wonder how he expected it to be able to turn? Wouldn't it have been easier (she asks, after the fact) to have two independently powered rollers? Is it possible to saw your creation in half?

Also, late thought, how did he expect the power to get to the roller?

There you go, you're doing it again. :no:

You're making the mistake of being rational. Therefore you will never understand Jehlik's genius.

 

Sorry, did I just say “genius”?

I'm getting confused again aren't I. 😕

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Mad Steve said:

Yes,there's a giant road roller thingie that can span german trenches in a single roll... but what about the naff little wheel at the back, first trench it comes too, it plops into the trench and that's it, a ginormous metal thing stuck in the mud.... :) 

 

It's really not an issue, The aforementioned giant road roller is powerful enough to drag the naff little wheel out of anything. In fact, it'll probably dig its own trench with it, which the soldiers following after (while ducking out of the way of occasional random shells fired back at them) can use to plant corn in to grow the highly-anticipated popcorn after the battle.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another classic blog in the making here. Never a dull moment with this fella.

I would pay good money to visit inside your head Gorbs, but the pre-requisite would be;

1) knowing the location of the emergency exits.  2) knowing said exists were in good working order

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Toolmaker said:

I would pay good money to visit inside your head Gorbs

Probably not advisable as you'd need to wear a space suit to survive the vacuum. :blink:

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Gorby said:

Probably not advisable as you'd need to wear a space suit to survive the vacuum. :blink:

Not a chance, plenty to learn in there👍🏼

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/10/2020 at 16:43, Jessie_C said:

how did he expect the power to get to the roller?

Magic of course

bde17c9a54746b6b2fe8eceaf8d3d882.jpg

Edited by RWG686
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Believe or not I lost sleep over this. I don't abandon builds (not yet anyway). I'm not one of those weak-willed, lilly-livered individuals with one of those defeatist shelf of doom things (that reminds me, I really should get around to getting a copy of 'how to win friends and influence people'). The various 'issues' kept nagging away at me as I work each of them through my skull porridge. Each one had more brain time allocated to it than Jehlik probably gave his whole design.

About three weeks after I'd abandoned it, I got the box back out of the cupboard and started again.

What on Earth Was Jehlik Thinking?' Corner.

We've already seen how the main roller would have faired with trenches, but there is another problem that Jehlik failed to predict:

Castors.png

Which proves that Mr.Mad is cleverer than Jehlik. That's a frightening thought isn't it? :ermm:

Other than being a pretty effective trench-anchor, the silly little castors at the back were intended to be used for steering. They were supposed to be electrically powered, by that I mean powered steering, they weren't intended to help with with traction. I say 'castors' because they were intended to be rugby ball shaped, which proved to be a 'making the bloody things' problem. This is where I would have turned to 3D printing if that was an option. Failing that I resorted to 20th century technology and a hell of a lot of faffing about. First off, having drawn the profile on Inkscape, I printed more than I expect to need as the odds are I'll screw something up and need some more (which proved to be a very accurate assumption):

Castors+1.JPG

I used PVA to glue them to spare bits of lightly sanded, 1mm styrene from my scrap box:

Castors+2.JPG

And then do… erm.. this around a central tube:

Castors+3.JPG

Castors+4.JPG

Finally Milliput the gaps leaving me with very odd shaped balls:

Castors+5.JPG

The frame the castors are mounted on was also a 'How the hell am I going to do that' moment. At first I tried using thin brass sheet but it was much to flimsy. Fortunately a search through the shed of dreams junk came up trumps:

Castors+6.JPG

Incidentally, those Wiss heavy duty scissors are fantastic – it cut the metal sheet easily. The only downside was:

Castors+6a.JPG

Straightening them out left me scarred for life. Who do I sue?

Castors+7.JPG

The first brass effort ended up being useful as I used it as a template to get the holes and bends in the correct position the very first time – which was a very welcome novelty.

Castors+9.JPG

Finally all tarted up:

Castors+10.JPG

I've screwed up the spacing of the treads but I doubt you'll even be able to see the silly little skates when they're fitted so I must remember to go back in time and not make that much of an effort next time. You may also notice that the pivot thingy goes through the frame and into the castor. That was to bear the weight of the monstrosity they're attached to and also because I could think of a way to get the joint strong enough if I didn't.

Next up: Who knows???*

* That's my effort to be mysterious. Yes I know I should try harder but it's only you and I feel that I can't be arsed to make the effort.

No offence.**

** If I say 'No offence' you are legally obliged to not take offence. :yes:

  • Like 3
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Mad Steve said:

Me clevererer than Mr Jehlik?

That's not raising the bar particularly high though is it? :P

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 17/10/2020 at 16:18, Gorby said:

Finally Milliput the gaps leaving me with very odd shaped balls:

I'm saying nothing.

  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The roller beasts body was …. erm… of the fuller figure variety. Perhaps I should refer to it the roller obeast. I described the Holt Field Monitor as a traction engine that's won free big Macs for life, but that looks like a racing snake in comparison. There is only a limited number of times you can refer to this stage as 'body-building' and expect a grudging smirk, and that number is once (if that). So how do I do anything other than just say “I build some bodywork out of bits of plastic”? So I'll just sit here and hum an unidentifiable tune quietly to myself while you have a ganders at the pics.

Body+1.JPG

Hmmm humm huuumm hhhummummum....

Body+3.JPG

Hhuuuummm hum hum mmmmm hhummmum....

Body+2.JPG

Hhhhhuuumm mmmmm Oh, you're back – and your front and sides as well. This is an opportunistic moment to show you the scale of this colossal lump of stupidity, using something in the same scale. If I was doing this in 1/35, it wouldn't fit on my desk and Mrs Gorby would be looking for a good lawyer.

Body+4.JPG

The easiest way to mark out the roof was to turn everything upside down and draw around it.

Body+5.JPG

Cut around just as I would a circle and finish off by nibbling the edge with my new bestest tool EVER! (Now available from Gorby Enterprises for the one time only price of £10 (plus £10 packaging and £10 Post)).

Bargain. :yes:

Body+6.JPG

Ending up with a stumpy hand which needs to go on a serious wrist diet.

Body+7.JPG

I need a suitable slot for the roller to fit into. A slot was the only way I could load the roller now that the body is done.

Body+8.JPG

 

This is the mud scraper you've all been so desperate to see. It's patent pending in the hope that when the US military FINALLY see sense and builds a few thousand roller beasts – I'll finally be able to retire. Oh, I am retired. But I'd be able to retire in style – although style has made it perfectly plain that they wouldn't be seen dead with me. :crybaby:

Body+9.JPG

As it is undoubtedly a thing of beauty, here it is from a different angle.

Body+10.JPG

 

You'll see the top fitted in the next instalment. How lucky you are.

Next up: Roller bib* bib bib bib bibbibibibibibibibbbb I think this build might be getting to me. :crazy:

 

* You have no idea do you?

  • Like 2
  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why do I get the feeling that Mrs Gorby walks around the house in medieval armor with a 12 bore in each hand when Gorbs is modelling. 

Must be something to do with the projects he takes on. American they are, so she has picked up on another American idea, the one of having as many bangy things as possible. 

Great work Gorbs, this project is worthy of you. 

  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Vaastav said:

medieval armor with a 12 bore

The Spanish inquisition and thumb-screws are more Mrs Goby's vibe.

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...